Christmas Wish
by Noini
Summary: Jacob has a Christmas wish over the years which has a central theme. This is technically a O/S but will be posted in parts from now until Christmas as a small Christmas present to everyone who has supported me this year
1. Chapter 1

Twilight is owned by Stephanie Myer, I own nothing but my imagination.

This is technically a O/S but will be posted in parts from now until Christmas as a small Christmas present to everyone who has supported me this year : thanks guys:

Nollag Shona dhaoibh. Merry Christmas everyone.

A special thanks to Mist for the Banner

.

I was four when I realised the magic of Christmas. I refused to tell my parents what I wanted from Santa. Not that I didn't trust them but I just didn't want my sisters to know what my heart desired the most. I knew they would tease me like always. My Mom and dad brought me to see Santa at his big grotto all the way up in Port Angelus. This was the furthest I have ever been away from home and I was so excited. We drove there in Mr Clearwaters truck and because I was the shortest I sat between my two sisters as they chattered over my head and snarked at me when they remembered my presence.

I was fascinated by all the tinsel around the Grotto and the pretty twinkling lights I thought I was actually in the North Pole. We walked through the magical area where the elves where busily making toys. I kept stopping but mom continued to pull me along. We entered into a big room where there was a beautiful fire place with a huge open fire warming the room. Beside the fire was an old fashioned straight backed chair like granddad Ephraim used to sit on. However instead of grampy a pretty lady sat. She had grey hair in a bun and a pretty long red dress with a white apron. She wore small round glasses half way down her nose. She was holding a big old book on her lap. There were many other kids in the room sitting on big cushions on the floor. Beside her was a huge tree that went right up to the ceiling and it was decorated with beautiful silver and red globes. The most fascinating thing on the tree though was the fairy lights. They were little glass coaches which reminded me of the picture of Cinderella in my sisters fairy tale book. They twinkled pink, blue and yellow and wound around the tree making their way up towards the pretty silver angel at the top. Underneath the tree were plenty of wrapped presents with shiny fancy paper and big red bows. My eyes were large with wonder. My mom whispered into Rachel's ear which resulted in my loving sister rolling her eyes and grabbing my hand.

"Come on Jacob." she pouted and dragged me over to one of the large floppy cushion right in front of the grey haired lady. Rachel very ungentlely pushed me down onto the cushion. She then stalked over to Bekka and sat down beside her. I realised then I was sitting the closest to the lady and all the other children where behind me. I looked around trying to find mom and dad and realised mom was sitting on a chair to my left. Before I considered getting up and running over to my mommy the lady introduced herself as Mrs Claus. That stopped me in my tracks. This was Santa's wife I looked at her in awe. She lived in the North Pole with Santa and the elves. I had so many questions to ask her but I wasn't sure if it was alright for me to ask. I had sent Santa my letter but I was worried that he didn't get it because daddy had not put enough stamps on it to get all the way to the North Pole. That had happened before when I posted the picture I made for Bella, she never got it and she told me it must have not been enough stamps on the envelope to get all the way to Flouryda.

Mrs Claus opened he book and told us all a funny story about a trainee elf Twix, and a story how the smallest Raindeer saved Christmas. She then finished her storytelling with how Rudolph got his red nose. Poor Rudolph falling asleep so close to the fire was very silly, he was lucky Santa found him in time.

I was so happy when we made our way out of the big room and saw a beautiful little train. It was so bright due to all the twinkling lights on it and these lights were even better than the lights on the Christmas tree, these lights were twinkling bells, which where my favourite thing in the whole world.

We listened to Christmas music as the little train made its way towards the forest and I could see a red light in the distance and before I could ask mommy what it was I heard everyone whisper, there's Rudolph, wow look at his nose, it's even brighter than I thought it was. Unfortunately as the train got closer Rudolph moved further into the tree line. The driver of the train apologised but said that he had just got word that Rudolph was needed to collect more elves to help Santa but that he would be back later and we might get to see him closer then.

The train pulled up at a little station where we got out and followed a path making its way into the forest. I could hear twinkling bells and knew the other reindeers where around. It was just so amazing to be visiting Santa in his home. We eventually made our way up to a wooden cabin and there were more elves there and as soon as we walked into the room they were running over and showing us games they wanted to play. I was a little shy and wanted to stay with my mommy but Rachel and Bekka took my hand and dragged me over to the hoops and pins. I didn't really understand the rules of the game but I kept getting Santa stickers for doing so well so I was very proud of myself. Rachel got into a huff cause she didn't get as many stickers as me but I can't help being good at games.

Finally we were brought into see Santa. OH my! He was huge and so jolly, that beard was so long he must have been ancient. Rachel and Rebecca went first and told them all about the Barbies and fancy dolls that they wanted while I waited patiently scared that he couldn't get me my biggest Christmas wish. Then it was my turn, I suddenly didn't want to go. But mom pushed me forward and I sat hesitantly on his lap. I kept an eye on my mom, feeling comforted by her happy smile.

"So your name is Jacob" Santa asked.

I nodded my head amazed that he knew who I was.

"So Jacob I believe you have been a good boy all year. So what can Santa get you for Christmas?" Santa smiled down at me.

"I wrote you a letter, did you not get it?" I looked at my dad with tears in my eyes. I knew he didn't put the right stamps on it. I told him, but he wouldn't listen.

"Of course I did Jacob, but some children change their mind between writing their letters and coming to visit me, so tell me again so we can be sure you know what you want." Santa chuckled.

"Oh, but I don't want to say it in front of everyone." I whispered

Santa looked over at my family, Mom looked at me with understanding, so she nudged dad. "Jacob, do you mind if I stay here and your dad takes the girls for a soda?"

I nodded mom was okay she understood. Rachel huffed and puffed, she hated not knowing everything, Bekka just shrugged and followed dad out.

"Now little man, tell me what santa can get you." Santa whispered to me.

"I w..w..w..aa..a..nt my Bells." I stuttered.

"Your Bells?" Santa questioned.

"Yeessss." I howled.

My mom came over to me quickly and pulled me into her arms. "Shhh honey, its okay. Bells, Santa is his best friend Isabella. She moved away a couple of months ago.

"Her mommy took her away from me." I sobbed.

"Ahh I see, but your Bells, needs to spend time with her mommy." Santa smiled kindly at me. "She will come back to see you soon I'm sure. Is there any toy you would like to have so you can show her when she does come to visit?"

"Emm" I thought for a while. "No…but there is a book I would like."

"Oh even better what book would you like?" Santa asked as my mom smiled encouragingly at me.

"The Sssecwet Garden." I whispered.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you correctly, did you ask for The Secret Garden." Santa asked.

I nodded. "Yes, it's a book Bells really wants but her mommy wouldn't get it for her cause she told her it was silly to be reading books about ould fashioned Egland."

"So you want that book from Santa so you can give it to Bells?" Santa asked looking at my mom as small tears fell down my cheeks.

"No." I shook my head. "Well …..kind of… she always reads her books to me, so I want the book so she can read it to me cause I can't read well enough yet."

"What age is Bells?" Santa asked in surprise.

"She is seven, but her daddy is the Chief of Spoons and he said that her teacher said she could read as well as a ten year old." I told Santa proudly.

That Christmas morning when I ran out to the tree I was very excited to see the book that I asked Santa for. But more importantly I only had a couple of days to wait for my Bells to come read it to me.


	2. Chapter 2

Twilight is owned by Stephanie Myer, I own nothing but my imagination.

This is technically a O/S but will be posted in parts from now until Christmas as a small Christmas present to everyone who has supported me this year : thanks guys:

Nollag Shona dhaoibh. Merry Christmas everyone.

A special thanks to Mist for the Banner

.

When I was eight I realised that Christmas was not always magical.

I woke up slowly with my eyes stuck together and my head resting on a damp pillow again. I cried myself to sleep every night since Mommy was taken away. I didn't know what time it was but I knew I had to get up and try and find some clean clothes. I didn't want Daddy in trouble with Mrs Clearwater again for not making sure my clothes were clean. It had made him so sad. I wondered if I would be going to school today. Chief Bells got mad when he realised I didn't always make it to school but I was too scared to go on my own and Daddy sometimes forgot to bring me. Lately Chief Bells came over after finishing his work and gave me a lift in his cruiser. That was pretty cool. He wasn't able to bring me every day though as he had to sometimes work mornings. I wondered if there was any breakfast. Sometimes there was no cereal and other times there was no milk. I really hope Daddy remembers to go shopping soon. He was just so sad and lonely without Mommy it was hard for him to do anything but look at her picture. I don't think he even knew I was here most of the time. I rub my eyes, I miss my Mommy so much but it must be even harder for Daddy, he had given Mommy his heart and she took it with her all the way to the spirit land which I think is very far away, so he is missing his heart as well as Mommy.

I sat up in bed and as I pulled my superman comforter off my legs I suddenly realised it was Christmas morning and maybe just maybe Santa got my letter and has given me my Mommy back. I was extra good and was not naughty at all, so Santa would have to give me my Christmas wish wouldn't he?

I rolled out of bed and shivered when my bare feet hit the cold floor, but I had no time to find socks. I didn't think I owned any that fitted my feet anyway. I ran out of my room straight into the kitchen, that's where my Mommy always was on Christmas morning; in fact that's where she always was every morning when I got up. But to my surprise she wasn't there. I stopped and looked around. Where could she be? She might still be asleep so I ran to my parent's room. I didn't knock just toppled straight in. I planned on crawling up the bed and cuddling between mom and dad. I loved having a cuddle with them like that because it always ended with them tickling me and then when it was time to get up mommy would make pancakes. However only Dad was there sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. Where was she? I ran out of the room and down the short corrider towards the twins room, I rushed in without knocking in my excitement to be greeted by yells of -_GET OUT!_- from my sisters. I didn't care all I wanted was My Mommy but she wasn't there either. I ran back into the living room and looked around. The little tree that Charlie put up and decorated sat tilting against the wall by the window. There were no presents under it. I was really confused. I'd been good, where was Mom? Where was Santa's presents? I stood looking at the sickly tree wondering what was happening. I couldn't believe Santa would forget me like that. My eyes started to sting as those stupid tears started to form making everything go blurry.

"Are you okay Jacob?" Bekka asked as she walked into the room with Rachel and her sour face trailing behind her.

I shook my head sniffing. "Nooooo…..What happened to Santa? Why did he forget about us?"

Rachel stepped forward with a sneer on her face. "Oh for crying out loud Jacob, grow up! Santa is not real, he is a myth, a fairy tale."

I couldn't believe her, it wasn't true, and everyone knew there was such a thing as Santa Claus. "Yes there is." I squealed.

"No Jacob there really isn't! He doesn't exist." She shouted at me. I could see Bekka trying to pull her out of the room.

"But I was good, Santa always gets you what you wish for if you've been good. I wished for Mom, where's Mommy? I want my Mommy." By this time I was screaming I'm sure the whole of La Push could hear me. I turn quickly and ran into my room and throw myself on the ground blocking the door so no one could get in. I didn't have a lock so this is the only way I could be alone. I sat leaning against the door for hours, I couldn't stop crying and the sobs were so loud I could hardly make out the noises from the rest of the house. I faintly heard Bekka tell Rachel how mean she was and then I could hear my Dad's weak voice but couldn't make out what he said. I refused to move. I rocked to and fro with my arms wrapped around my knees crying into my faded too short for me PJ's.

I think I must have passed out with exhaustion because the next time I opened my eyes the light coming through my window was much brighter.

I pulled myself up and went to climb back into bed, I was so cold. This house was so much colder without Mommy, her smile kept us all warm. I didn't want to be here, knowing I would never see that smile again. The sooner this day was over the better, I just wanted to sleep and not remember anything. Before I could fall into sleeps welcome abyss, there was a timid knock on the door which I just ignored. A couple of minutes later there was another knock. When I didn't respond I could hear the door opening softly.

"Jakey?" I heard a familiar soft voice whisper.

"Bells?" I shot out of bed and ran over to my best friend hugging her to me. I never wanted to let her go. I couldn't believe she was here, next to Mommy she was my favourite person in the whole world. "How come you're here?" I smile up at her. It's probably my first real smile since my Mom died.

"Well Jakey, I got a phone call from a very special person with a very special request. Santa wasn't able to bring your Mom back, that just something he's not able to do, but he knew your second choice would be me. So he called and asked if I could come visit you, he even talked my Mom into letting me stay the whole Christmas holidays." She smiled her beautiful smile at me.

"S'okay Bells I know Santa's not real, Rachel already told me." I sniffed.

"Don't mind her." Bells hissed. "Rachel is only annoyed because she was naughty so Santa didn't get her a big present. I would've been here earlier but the snow delayed me, so I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

It was only then that I realised that outside was snowing and was a white as the eye could see.

"Let's get some lunch and then we can go out and have a snowball fight, only if you want to of course Jakey." Bella gave me her puppy dog look.

I wasn't sure what to believe but I know I really wanted to believe Santa still existed, it was hard enough without Mom, but to lose him too would be horrible. Thank the Spirits I had Bells.

I got dressed quickly and joined Bells in the living room with everyone else. I was surprised to see that there were loads of pretty wrapped presents. It looks like Santa left our presents with Bella. I didn't understand why he didn't come here direct but it's one thing my Mom taught me was that you never question Santa's Magic.

After we all unwrapped our presents and tried to look happy Charlie stood up and said he'd make lunch. Bella put her hand on his arm telling him she'd help. As Sue had made food for us yesterday and put it in the fridge all that Charlie and Bella needed to do was reheat. Unfortunately even reheating was beyond the abilities of us Blacks, so we sat watching television until Bells called us into the kitchen.

The meal was nice but Mrs Clearwater made everything different to the way my Mom made it. Her roast potatoes weren't as crispy as Moms and there was no onion in our mash. The carrots were boiled but Mom always roasted the carrots. It was the first hot meal I had eaten since Charlie brought me to the diner last week for breakfast, so I ate every single piece. Friends kept bringing food over but I had no idea how to heat it, so I just ate it cold. I tried to get Dad to show me how to use the oven but he kept telling me I was too young. I agreed, but it's not like he or the twins remembered to feed me. Once we were finished eating Bells and I washed the dishes and tidied the kitchen while our Dads watched some game on the TV and the twins disappeared into their room.

When we were finished Bells and I put on our coats and shoes and ran out into the snow. We built a huge snowman and then had some fun making snow angels. I really missed having Bells around. She always made everything better. Embry and Quil were fun friends to have but they just tried to ignore the whole situation and I really had enough of that at home. Bells and I lay in the snow laughing after having a really bad snowball fight. The expression "throw like a girl" was invented for Bella. I think she managed to hit herself with a snowball she had thrown at me.

When we stopped laughing she reached over and held my hand. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged. "I'm okay."

"Is there anything you need?" The concern in her big brown eyes made me turn into a motor mouth. I told her about not being able to use the cooker. I told her about trying to keep clean but not knowing how to use the washing machine. I told her about only getting to school when Charlie brought me but how I then had no way to get home. Some days I was able to get a lift with Quil or Embry but other days I had to walk. Bella was livid, her eyes looked fierce but she didn't say a word. I even told her how much I missed her and how much I missed my Mom and how Christmas dinner now tasted different to my Moms dinner and how I hated that. Bella promised me that she would move home to Forks as soon as her Mommy would allow it. But in the meantime, she would come home as often as she could. She also promised that she would make me a proper Christmas dinner just like my Mom made the next time she spent Christmas here.

Bella also made me realise something. When I told her I felt cold because I missed my Moms smile and I didn't want to be here without it. Bella took my hand and walked me into the house. She dragged me into the living room and pointed at the picture of Mom and me smiling together like goons from last Christmas. She held my hand and told me that my Moms smile was still here. I didn't understand and she explained that I also had Aunt Sarah's million dollar smile and while I continued to smile there would always be a piece of Aunt Sarah here. She hugged me tight when the silent tears started to roll down my cheeks.

Before Bella went back to her Mom's she arrived with what she called a microwave cooker and she taught me how to use it. Apparently it was safer for a kid to use. I now knew how to reheat food and even cook ready meals so I wouldn't go without a hot meal again. I was warned never to put any metal near it though as it would make it explode just like her Daddy's did. I could hear her Dad muttering that it was an accident and it only happened the once. She also showed me how to use the washing machine and how to hang clothes up to dry. When I asked how she knew how to cook and wash so well, she explained that her Mom never remembered to do chores and was a terrible cook so Bella taught herself. I thought that was crazy, I thought all Mommies were good cooks just like mine.

I think Bells spoke to my family about how they minded me, because after she left Rachel offered to Iron my clothes for me because the Iron would be too dangerous for me to use. Even my Dad became more helpful bringing me and collecting me from school when Charlie couldn't.

All in all my Bells gave me back my smile that Christmas but I think she took a piece of my heart home with her.


	3. Chapter 3

Twilight is owned by Stephanie Myer, I own nothing but my imagination.

This is technically a O/S but will be posted in parts from now until Christmas as a small Christmas present to everyone who has supported me this year: thanks guys:

Nollag Shona dhaoibh. Merry Christmas everyone.

A special thanks to Mist for the Banner

.

I was sixteen when I realised Christmas could be the loneliest time of the year.

I thought the Christmas after my Mom died was bad. It was a party compared to this year. At first it was shaping out to be the best Christmas ever. It looked like all my dreams had come true, my heart's desire was realised. Bella Swan, my Bells was coming home for good; she was going to live with her Dad in Forks for the rest of her school life and possibly longer than that. Her Mom had remarried and Bells used the excuse that the newlyweds didn't need a teenager cramping their style. Apparently the minute Bells suggested it her Mom ran off and booked flights for her to come without even consulting with Charlie. Although we all knew Charlie would sell his soul to have his baby home, it goes to show Renee only wanted Bella around when it suited her. But her loss was my gain. I was beyond excited that Bells was coming home. Embry and Quil refused to speak to me anymore as they claimed I had Bellaitis, which according to them was a disease which caused me to talk about Bella ad nauseum. They claimed it might be infectious and refused to take any chances. Stupid idiots, they adored her as well. When she visits over the summer I would have to peel them off her. Charlie would threaten the pair of them with his shot gun when he found them in his kitchen eating his food.

Contrary to my expectations it was not the magical wonderful Christmas that I wanted. Something happened that snookered all my well laid plans. I still think I am trapped in a horrible nightmare, I really can't believe it is real and that this is my life now. The night before Bella arrived I turned into a giant vicious wolf. All thanks to the annoying ass Paul Lahote who made a lewd remark about my Bells. I passed him as I walked home from the market after buying the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies, I had planned on sweet talking her into making my favourite the next day, but shit for brains Lahote chose that time to push me into my wolf form. I found out later that it was planned, they needed me to phase to increase their numbers and because I was so happy with Bells coming home I was taking too long to phase. I was pissed, for many reasons, but mostly because I felt they could have at least let me have a happy Christmas. When I realised my Father knew of the schedule I got really mad, he knew how important it was to me to spend Christmas with Bells. His excuse was that I may have become unstable and phased without warning if I didn't phase soon. I still think he could have held them off until after Christmas.

I will never forget that moment of my first phase, the pain the confusion, before I knew what was happening I was pulled into the forest and held down by Paul, Sam and Jared. The legends were true. I think I was in shock for a few hours as I paced up and down on my new four legs trying to make sense of all the sounds, smells, feelings I now had. I wanted to be in human form again but I didn't know how to do it until I remembered Bella was coming home the next day and I phased back immediately to human. Unfortunately, once Sam phased and told me I couldn't stay friends with Bella I was a wolf again with my teeth around Sam's neck. It took both Paul and Jared to pull me off him.

Sam nervously explained to me the importance of the secret, and also because of my danger to her he showed me what happened to his girlfriend Emily. This alone had me lying naked on the ground. I couldn't risk marring Bella's beautiful face. I couldnt chance hurting her.

I spent the next week avoiding her, running when I heard the engine of the truck I had lovingly fixed up for her. Not answering the phone when it rang in case it was her.

My heart thumped everytime I heard her call or smelled her beautiful scent. She phoned every day and drove down every evening even though dad never let her into the house and tried to chase her away. I know it broke his heart to do it. Bella was a better daughter to him than the twins, they packed a bag and never came back the day they graduated school. They rarely called. Even though Bella lived in a different state she had called every week without fail since Mom died and would often post us baked goods, and always sent special diabetic recipes for dad. But now because I have a tail he is treating her like a stranger. I could smell the sadness wafting off her when she called to the door. She was broken. I broke her. I had not faced her but I could see her image when those of the pack looked at her. Her eyes scared me, they were so hollow.

Christmas day I refused to go to the Uley's or stay at home with Dad. I spent every year since I was eight wishing I would get to spend Christmas with Bells. This year she insisted on moving back to her Dads before Christmas so she would finally get to keep her promise to spend Christmas with me again. But I wasn't there for her. I left my house early that day and ran as a wolf up to Canada and back. All the other wolves had bitched about doing patrols Christmas day. I volunteered to patrol all day. I had no intentions of partaking of Christmas joy. Not when I felt like my heart was tied up tightly with barbed wire. Sam insisted I have a three hour break to rest and eat and requested that I go to his and Emily's for some food. I politely declined so when I felt Paul phase in during my patrol I immediately phased out. I put up with enough of his crap when we had to be phased together there was no way in hell I was suffering listening to him when I was not obligated. I pulled up my cut offs and shrugged on my ratty t-shirt. I was still a couple of miles away from home but I didn't care I just began to walk. Sometimes it was nice to pretend to be human, I spent too much time as an animal, with hardly any human contact.

I took to the wolf so well, the quickest to phase, the fastest to phase back. The only one who could control his temper and had never phased out of anger, well except for that first phase. Even though I was filled with sorrow and a lot of anger I was the calmest wolf. Lucky me, I get full marks in wolf school. All down to my wonderful genes as I a direct descendent from Taha Aki and I am supposed to be the Alpha, due to my age and calm disposition I was not the first to phase, therefore Sam got the Alpha role by default. However, Sam insists that his Alpha duties will pass over to me sooner rather than later. Whoop-di-do, some more fun to look forward to. Who could possibly want to be the Top Dog to these pack of rejects, myself included unfortunately due to the number of the coven that now resides in Forks our numbers will increase unless they relocate soon we will probably result in a pack of at least 7. I reached the edge of the forest and walked out onto the sand of first Beach. I didn't realise I was aiming for here but it made sense this is the place that I felt the most relaxed and it reminded me of my Bells. I walked over to the old drift wood tree, the tears blowing from my face by the wind as I stared out at the white tipped waves smashing against the shore. I spent many hours with Bella at this tree, we always picked this spot to hang out when we were kids and this continued when we got older. We progressed as teens to lying here sunbathing and when it was bonfire time we would both use the tree to lean against as we watched the flames dancing in the pit as we ate melted marshmallows and smores.

I was so wrapped up in the past that I didn't realise there was someone behind me until I heard a noise, and suddenly I was emersed in her beautiful mouth watering scent. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. The alpha order stated that I couldn't commuticate with her. So I couldn't even say sorry to her. I was fighting the order trying to stay where I was because I couldn't run away from her, I just didn't have the strength to fight anymore, the alpha order and my love for Bells were in a furious battle and I don't know what the consequences would be if she was too close if this battle between my wolf and I got our of control. Before I knew what to do I heard her soft voice caress my ear.

"I promised you nearly ten years ago I would be back to make you a proper Christmas dinner with all the trimmings just like your Mom used to make. I never break a promise even if the ones made to me are discarded like yesterday's news." I tried to turn around but I couldn't. I wanted my Bells but I couldn't. When I heard the engine of her truck I was able to slowly turn to see a huge basket of food making up a huge Christmas dinner I could smell the onion in the Mash and I knew without looking that the carrots were roasted and potatoes would be crispy.

I heard my heart break in two; I knew this was Bella's last attempt to visit me. This was her way of saying goodbye.

Three months later she was dating the bloodsucker Edward Cullen.


	4. Chapter 4

Twilight is owned by Stephanie Myer, I own nothing but my imagination.

This is technically a O/S but will be posted in parts from now until Christmas as a small Christmas present to everyone who has supported me this year: thanks guys:

Nollag Shona dhaoibh. Merry Christmas everyone.

A special thanks to Mist for the Banner

.

I was seventeen when I realised Christmas wishes can eventually come true. I also learnt that was not always a good thing. Ever since that Christmas I realised you needed to be careful what you wished for.

I was back in contact with Bells. In fact she now lived on the Rez, in my house, in my room with me. I spent every minute I could with her. Holding her, singing to her softly, songs my Mom sang to me when I was sad and lonely. She was not here for the fun happy reasons I would have loved but because she was even more broken now than I could even comprehend.

It was May before I discovered the truth about Bella and I. Bella was hunted by the nomads after they met her in the meadow with the Cullen's. Of course we didn't know that until later all I knew at the time was she ran off with the bloodsucker and then came back with a broken leg looking like death. She also held her arm funny. Not that I saw this first hand because I was still not allowed see her due to Sam's alpha order. Lucky for me my father stepped in and told him I needed to give Bella the message that we would protect her, that she needed to keep away from the Cullen's, Dad was also concerned about her relationship with them. Rumour had it that she fell down some hotel stairs into a glass door but we didn't believe the rumours. I happily took on the job of messenger for my dad, any excuse to talk to my Bells.

When I got to forks Bella was not home, she was gone to her prom, Charlie spluttered at me before slamming the door in my face. I never thought I would see Bella Swan going to prom. Needless to say she was not very receptive to me when I caught up with her at her school parking lot. At first she wouldn't even look at me. When she eventually made eye contact my heart stopped beating while the earth stopped spinning and she became the centre of my world. But instead of feeling rainbows and unicorns like Sam and Jared I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach while my heart was been stabbed. I stepped forward reaching my hand out to pull her towards me and she quickly stepped away.

Looking at me with empty eyes she whispered dejectedly. "Go back to La Push and leave me alone. You weren't there when I needed you, or when I begged to know what I had done to cause you to ignore me. So why would I want to listen to you now?" The scariest thing about her rebuttal was not her words but the dead tone to her voice. She spoke like a zombie.

Before I could respond the parasite reappeared at her side. I started to shake. "What have you done to her?" I rasped. Bella just shook her head and walked away towards the school gym.

He looked mockingly at me. "I have done nothing to her mutt. She is like this because you broke her and I have spent the last five months trying to fix her. It's a pity your people don't keep better records or maybe it's more to do with what they don't want to tell you, but rejecting an imprint is detrimental to the imprintee did you not know? Or did they not tell you that?"

I shook my head. "I don't know what you mean?"

"Oh, Mr Black, it seems you are very uneducated in your own histories. I presume you are aware of imprinting." Before I could confirm or deny he continued. "Well Bella is your imprint. She always has been that is why you have always gravitated towards each other."

I contradicted him. "But we cannot imprint prior to phasing."

He shook his head. "How sad it is your mortal enemy has to educate you on your own abilities." He released a condescending sigh. "A wolf can imprint before phasing if he spends a considerable amount of time with his soulmate pre wolf. It seems to happen a lot more to the Black men, your Grandfather bonded with your grandmother as a child and then imprinted on her when he phased. I believe your father bonded with your mother and would have imprinted on her if he had phased. I can't believe your Elders didn't tell you about this. Or is it because she was a pale face? Did your father hide it from you because he didn't want you together? Hmmm interesting, well never mind she is mine now and you are not getting her back."

"How do you know so much about my family and imprinting?" I growled.

He just chuckled and walked over to Bella pulling her to him, I felt a shiver of apprehension she was like a doll that had no mind of its own. I wondered in that moment if vampires had some sort of power over humans. She was like a puppet on a string. I was holding back my wolf with every ounce of willpower so that I didn't expose the pack secret to all the horny teenagers of Forks. I charged down the driveway into the forest and phased without even considering removing my clothes. I ran as fast as I could, knowing that my pain and anger was blocking my thoughts from the phased pack.

When I reached la push I ran straight towards Sam and met him just beyond the treeline of his property, I tackled him without warning and we fought until I had my jaws around his neck and I was pressing down on him. Two pack members were trying to get me off him but nothing was going to stop me. It was his fault. He damaged Bella he made it so I couldn't see her. He made it so I couldn't be with my imprint. Did he know she was mine all along? I ran through everything I saw and heard that day so the rest of the pack could see what was going on.

Leah surprised us all when she asked. "What do you want us to do? Should we fight the Cullen's?"

My surprise at her allegiance gave Sam the opportunity to break free of my grasp and wiggle away on his belly.

He stopped when Leah blocked his entrance. "I believe you owe our Alpha a response Sam."

When she said this I felt a mighty power entering my body, suddenly all the wolves dropped their front legs to the ground and bowed their heads in submission. I was now Alpha. It was not a position I ever wanted but there was no way I would let this Uley have any more control over my life. I should have challenged him sooner. That was my mistake, I never considered challenging to take Alpha to get to see Bella. My stupidity had caused Bella so much pain. I didn't deserve her. But what was more important to me at this time was the reason they kept me away from Bella. As Alpha no mind had privacy of thought I could push through Sam's barriers and read his mind. Sam did not know the truth he was just worried for the tribe's secret and that I would hurt her like he hurt Emily. He knew I would not be able to keep the secret if I spent time with her. He also thought if we remained close I would break her heart when I did imprint just like he had done on Leah.

I spent the rest of the summer trying to make Bella my friend again. I loved her with every fibre of my being but I know she didn't want me that way. She may never decide to be even my friend again but I needed her in my life and I was also terrified about the power the leach seemed to have over her. Charlie wouldn't let me in the house so I spent many hours sitting on her porch waiting for her to come home or hoping she would come outside to talk to me for a bit. It was August before she acknowledged my existence only to tell me to go home.

I tried to see her on her birthday but she had been whisked over to Dracula Manor before I got to see her and she didn't return until quite late, with a big bandage on her arm. I was sitting in a tree across the road from her house holding the stupid dreamcatcher that I had made her, being a werewolf didn't pay very well. The mind reading leach knew I was there but I didn't care, it was good for him to realise he was being watched. As he got back into his car he reminded me softly of the treaty. Implying I was not allowed in forks, but I had checked the treaty and it stated we were not allowed to hunt or to be in the form of our spirit warrior in Forks and I was doing neither. He just huffed at my response muttering that Carlisle was too soft.

The leech had let her be mauled by another vampire and bitten in Phoenix, she nearly changed into one of them and then the day after her birthday he dumped her and abandoned her in the middle of the woods. She was lost for hours. We found out from Sue. She overheard in the hospital one of Charlie's officers asking where Dr Cullen was and had anyone seen Bella. She phone Billy who organised us wolves to search. There were more of us now, Embry and Quil had joined so we could split up and look for her.

At first Charlie told me and Dad to get off his property. He had not spoken to Billy since I phased. I think he was even more hurt that his best friend was treating his daughter badly and by default he wouldn't talk to Harry either because Harry stupidly tried to defend Dad and I. Charlie's response was interesting as he suggested that Harry didn't know what he was talking about since he happily took Sam's side over his own daughter's heartbreak so why should he listen to him? That was hard for Harry to swallow considering Leah was hurt the exact same way as Bella. Okay Bella and I were not dating, we had never even kissed but it's like we had all the time in the world to get there. We had such a strong connection we never thought anything would ever separate us. Or that's what I thought until I broke our nonverbal commitment. She was so depressed by my behaviour she attached herself to the first thing that gave her any attention or maybe he preyed on her abandonment issues and manipulated her with his vampire charm.

I'll never forget finding her in the forest that night, it took me two hours to locate her. She had wandered so deep into the woods. She was lying in a ball on the ground with tears pooling on the forest floor beneath her murmuring he had left her too. Everyone just leaves her. Nobody loves her. She was so pale and cold I initially thought she had been changed. I forgot myself at the time and I was in wolf form. Her eyes held no recognition of a monster standing in front of her. My wolf was so happy to see her safe he began to nuzzle and lick her. I had no control, his mate needed him and he was going to comfort her. I lay down beside her and inched closer to her, eventually she seemed to relax and cuddle into my pelt. My pack arrived and Leah came closer and reached over me to brush Bella's hair out of her eyes. Whispering to her that everything was going to be all right and that we would be here for her. We would be her family and nobody would ever hurt her again. I phased back and carried her home in my arms with tears streaming down my face. All her pain could have been prevented. My tribe, pack and family had pushed this girl towards madness.

That leech certainly did a number on her, but the worst thing he did was kill one of his own kind without taking out its mate as well. Bella was now being stalked by a crazy insane red headed bitch who's only reason for existence was to torture Bella. She was such a threat that the elders relented on their secrecy and allowed us tell Charlie what we were so that she could move to La Push.

Well it was not that easy, at first they suggested that the stupid white girl should go home and deal with the decisions that she made. The pack was to protect the tribe not her. Sam quietly and calmly explained to Old Quil while I held him by the throat up against a wall what had happened and how it was the packs fault, well his fault that the girl was traumatised, damaged and needed all the protection that we could give her. The decision not to let me see Bella had caused a catastrophic reaction in her because we were in fact imprints and had bonded even before I phased, and my behaviour due to the alpha order was as if I was rejecting the imprint. Old Quil relented and checked the archives. He found evidence of this pre imprint bonding which did seem to occur more in my family. They thought it may be due to alpha blood. They believe that the bond became permanent once I phased and that's why it affected Bella so badly.

So with the permission of Charlie once he was fully informed about the threat to Bella and our imprint, Bella moved into my home. It was by no means the happy occasion one would expect from an imprint co habiting. Bella was for lack of a better term a zombie. She stared into space for most of the day. She avoided talking and eating as much as possible. Her weight had plummeted. I had to practically hand feed her to get her to eat. The nightmares were hell. The blood curling screams woke all the pack every night no matter how far from my house they lived. I quickly realised that she didn't have nightmares the nights I held her. So I began to sleep beside her rather than on the mattress on the floor. I also made sure I was off patrol between midnight and five am as it was between those hours her dreams would be worse.

There were small improvements in her behaviour as we reached the holiday season, she seemed to want my company and would actually cuddle into me during the night. I had explained the wolves and the imprinting to her, and why I was unable to spend time with her when she arrived last Christmas. She seemed to understand and accept my reasons but I could still see the burn of betrayal in her eyes. Christmas day I insisted she come with me and Dad to Sam's for dinner. Emily had also invited Charlie so we all squeezed into the small house and ate everything in sight; Quil was his usual childlike self and took great delight in opening everyone's present even if you didn't want him too. Poor Emily was mortified when he unwrapped a small lace black tong obviously from Sam and asked what it was? I thought Sam was going to kill him. Bella remained quiet but for the first time since before I phased I saw a hint of a smile form on her lips.

Two months later I personally set fire to the red headed bloodsucker and collapsed from the poison pumping through my body from multiple leech bites.


	5. Chapter 5

Twilight is owned by Stephanie Myer, I own nothing but my imagination.

This is technically a O/S but will be posted in parts from now until Christmas as a small Christmas present to everyone who has supported me this year: thanks guys:

Nollag Shona daoibh. Merry Christmas everyone.

A special thanks to Mist for the Banner

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I was eighteen when I realised the magic of Christmas all over again.

Bella never moved back to Forks. She didn't want the memories and I think she was worried if she moved back she would also loose me. It took her a while to forgive me for ignoring her for so long, but one day when Paul was in one of his moods and was trying to start an argument with me in a public place I was forced to give him an alpha order. I think once Bella saw that even asshole Paul had to bow to an Alpha command she realised that I didn't have a choice to stay away from her.

I was so happy when she began to open up to me, she told me everything that happened in her life since I phased. She confided in me she had asked her mom could she move back in with her and her new husband after she realised I would not be her friend anymore and Renee selfishly told her to find new friends. I never liked that woman I always thought she was selfish and idiotic. I really hoped things worked out with this new husband because I was pretty sure if it didn't she would be begging Bella to come back home to take care of her again.

I loved the way the pack treated her, like she was a sister, or in some cases a mother. Slowly but surely she began to take over from Emily, she was the one the other imprints came to for advise and well her cooking and baking was the better than anything Emily could prepare so there was never any left overs. However Bella would only cook or bake if she was asked to. She cooked for Charlie, Dad and I on a daily basis but she didn't shove food into anyone's hands as they walked through the door. The wolves figured this out quickly and there was plenty of nights I would come in from patrol to find Quil, Embry, Paul and Jared stuffing their face tasting some new concoction that Bella had come up with. They had fun trying to think of new things they could ask her to make. They were fascinated how she could make a gourmet meal from a tin of ham, bag of rice and a basket of manky veg. She was frugal by nature which was a good thing living on the rez and with our appetites. I was concerned that there may be animosity from Emily but surprisingly she seemed happy to pass the baton over to Bella. I think she was playing the part of Mom to all of us because she had no choice but now there is someone else to help take care of us and feed us, she was relieved.

We slowly became Jake 'n' Bells all over again; we went for walks on the beach holding hands. She let me keep her warm at the bonfires by holding her close. Bella's forgiving nature became apparent she even accepted Sam's apology and didn't hold any grudges, he thanked her for feeding the mangy dogs so he got time at home alone with Emily for a change. Bella just smiled and told him that he and Emily were also welcome to come for dinner if Emily ever needed a night off cooking.

Unfortunately the only person Bella didn't really forgive was Dad, she accepted his apology with a nod and was always kind and polite but the rapour and laughter they used to share was gone. When I asked her about it she just shrugged and said she got on fine with dad. When I pressed her on it she admitted that she couldn't feel the same way towards him. She understood he needed to protect the tribe, she understood the need for secrecy but she considered him her second Father and he spoke to her like she was a dumb paleface trying to rough it with the Chiefs son, not a scared upset daughter worrying about her best friend. Why didn't he tell her that I had tribal responsibilities that meant I couldn't see her for a while? That I was still her friend, I was not able to see her but if circumstances changed I would contact her as soon as I could. She would have been upset but at least she would have felt her friend was still there, and Billy still loved her like a daughter. Of course she was right. Bella was reared with this tribe and she knew there were rituals and legends she would never be a part of and she had always accepted that, and never tried to push her way in where she was not wanted. Even now when she was the Alpha's imprint if the elders were around she would always step out of the room in case there were private matters they needed to discuss. I let her do this as I believed she needed to slowly accept her place in the tribe, but one day I will be chief and I really hope she will be standing beside me when I take that role.

We had not seen or smelt a leech since I killed Victoria so I arranged on Christmas Eve that the whole pack would do a wide sweep for 100 miles outside of Forks and if all was quiet we would have the rest of the night off. When I got home I went into the room Bells and I shared.

When Victoria nearly killed me earlier in the year Bella became my nurse, she had to do everything for me as I was unconscious for around three weeks, it took me over a month to work all the venom from her bites out of my system. She stayed with me twenty four seven, only leaving my bedside to visit the bathroom. I have no memory of that time but my brothers have filled me in since with their memories, they were astounded by how she changed quickly from zombie like Bella to the strong fighter I knew her to be. She was fierce; she took on Sam when he suggested that I may not recover. He thought he was doing right by being honest with her but he was ejected from my bedroom and house until such time I was well enough to allow him back in. Because of the nature of the injury and my own supernatural condition modern medicine was not thought to be of any use. Yet again Bella had no interest in listening to a pack of teenage high schoolers. She spent a few hours on her laptop and then sent a list of things she needed from Sue. Sue came over demanding to know what she needed all this medicine for when we had no idea what to do with a vampire bite. Bella pushed her down in front of the lap top and explained a load of medical jargon but the a few of the words Quil picked up were electrolytes, glucose level and liver function, she felt I should be treated similar to a drug overdose. Sue returned with everything on Bella's list. I presumed she must have robbed a few of the items as there is no way she would be allowed bring hospital equipment and consumables home.

Bella paid particular attention to my temperature, pulse, respiratory rate, blood pressure, and urine output. Yes my imprint put a catheter on me. Thankfully not one with the tube that goes all the way up but the one with the condom like thing attached. I can honestly say that I have no secrets now from Bella. I am so glad I have no memory of her putting this on. Once would have been bad enough but it would have to have been changed regularly and lotion used to stop chaffing. This was another reason for Paul's amusement at my expense. With Sue's help Bella set up an IV and using alternating bags of solution she kept me hydrated and using electrolytes attempted to help flush the poison out of my system. She learnt from Old Quil that the legends listed that the closeness of the imprint and another pack mates could help speed up the healing process so she allowed one other pack member in my room at all times. Except for Sam as it was his suggestion that I would not survive. She believed his negativity would be detrimental to my survival. Embry, Quil, Leah and Seth came and kept both of us company everyday. I was surprised at Bella's strength and stubbornness to keep me alive.

By the time I was well enough that I didn't need constant care neither of us was strong enough to even consider sleeping in separate beds let alone separate houses. When Charlie started putting his foot down that it was time for her to move home Bella just rolled her eyes and told him to get used to it because she was not moving. He didn't fight to keep her when her mother took her away why the hell was he fighting to get her back now when she was a legal adult. This shocked Charlie, he couldn't believe she felt this way. He muttered that he thought she was better off with her Mother, a girl needed her Mom growing up. Bella told him quietly that no, a girl just needed a parent that remembered to buy food, or remembered to pay the bills or even considered staying home with that child instead of going on dates with a different guy everynight. Bella spent her childhood minding her Mom and wishing she could come back home to her La Push family. I really disliked Bella's Mom. Charlie said no more about her moving back to Forks but I do know that he contacted Renee and called her a few choice names. From that moment on Charlie stopped trying to parent Bella but worked on getting to know her. A sound friendship soon blossomed between them and I can honestly say they enjoyed each other's company.

Paul thought it was funny that I shared a room, in fact a bed with my imprint and we had never so much as kissed. I explained to him that we often shared a bed growing up, we were best friends of single Dads, when Charlie worked nights over the summers when Bella was staying with him she would sleep here. Yes I loved her and wanted to kiss her but she wasn't ready for that so there was no way I would push.

I was tired but happy as I climbed into bed Christmas eve, Bella was already asleep curled up into my pillow. I chuckled as I picked her up and lay down with her lying on my chest, she snuggled into my warmth like a kitten. I loved this girl and only felt complete when she was in my arms. I wondered if she will ever feel more than friendship for me? I drifted off to sleep listening to her gentle breathing.

I woke up gently unsure why; my inner clock telling me it was earlier than normal. Before I opened my eyes I felt movement and a flutter over my chest. I didn't need to open my eyes to realise Bells was tracing her finger over the scars that remained from the bites I received from that red headed leech. I loved her touch and it settled my wolf, if he had his way he would never let her go. Well to be honest he would never let her wear clothes either, but that feeling needed to be ignored.

I slowly opened my eyes to watch her as she examined each scar. There were two on my trunk and one on my bicep. Even with werewolf healing I have permanent scars due to the venom. She looked so sad, it broke my heart that I had not been able to make her happy. Maybe I'm fooling myself, maybe she was too badly damaged by my behaviour, and maybe I should let her go. I wanted to see her happy even if it meant she was with someone else. The pain in my chest at the thought of her being with someone other than me caused me to flinch. Bella jumped away looking scared, guilty, embarrassed and sad all at once.

"Sorry." She muttered attempting to hide her face.

I reached over and held her arm to stop her retreat. She looked nervously at me, I smiled to show her I was not angry and gently tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Are you okay?" I whisper looking into her beautiful chocolate orbs.

She nodded slowly not breaking eye contact.

I smiled as I ran my fingers through her hair. This was completely new for us, we had shared a bed for over a year but we had never interacted like this. We cuddled regularly and Bella normally used my chest as a pillow to sleep on but this was the first time I felt her touch me in any way other than as a nurse or as a friend.

I continued to look into her eyes; I was unsure what she wanted, she looked a little scared. Before I could ask her what was going on I could see that she had made some sort of decision as she raised her chin slightly indicating she was about to step out of her comfort zone. She reached down and ran her finger over my lips which caused my heart to stop beating for a couple of seconds and then it began to beat like a crazy drum solo, I'm sure my father in his room down the corridor could hear it.

Bella sat up a little so she was looking down on me, her hair fell and caressed my face. She slowly lowered her head until she was a whisper from my face and I was still frozen staring into her eyes, too scared to hope my dreams were coming true.

Her lips curved into a small smile and she whispered. "Thank you for being so patient. I love you Jacob Black."

She gently touched her lips against mine. Resting softly at first then she began to move them lightly massaging my shocked and frozen lips. By the time I awoke from my stupor she was pulling back obviously due to my lack of response. I quickly put my hand to the back of her head to prevent her retreat and smashed my lips to hers, drinking in her sweetness. Massaging her lips with mine and releasing every single emotion I felt towards her in this kiss. Kissing Bella was the best feeling I have ever had and I never wanted to stop, I swear the fourth of July celebrations were a kid's party compared to the fireworks I saw and felt that night. I knew our imprint was strong as it had survived so much pain and torture but when our lips fused together I felt a loud click in my psyche and all was right in my world, Bella was mine and she was going nowhere.

One week later Emily lost her temper with Bella and me, she kicked us out of her house and told us not to come back until we could form a coherent sentence and were able to spend more than ten minutes without staring into each other's eyes. Yes we were that annoying couple everyone hates. Who only have eyes for each other and continued to sprout sickly sweet endearments over and over again, annoying just about everyone near us. Life was great!

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><p>Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, thanks for reading and giving me support in 2011 to actually write. I think this story ends in a nice place, of course I have more ideas but I think I will hold them and if I am still writing next year I will do a few epilogue chapters for next Christmas. Thanks guys.<p> 


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